My dear readers,
I usually (that's right... 3 posts and I already wield the word usually) write about the happenings of US politics (2012 Republican candidates I'm looking at you...) and today won't be the difference. In actuality, this is the 3rd time I've tried to write this piece (or peace? or peas?) but the gods conspired to keep me from hitting the "publish post" button. So if you have been hyperventilating and panting while wondering why the caveman has not spoken for such a long period of time, well then, pant no more! The caveman, once again strikes again, whirling his mace of wit and sarcasm.
So Donald Trump, the beacon of hope for toupee wearers, heard the fat lady sing and after gracefully bowing out, he now has been relegated to the elephant graveyard of republican presidential runner-ups... the private sector. The Donald, who claimed that he was the bullseye for every joke made by Obama and Seth Meyers at the Correspondents Dinner due to his high poll numbers, realized that either the polls came from the same office that told Bush that there were WMD's in Irak or that his numbers came down so fast that he should've erupted in immediate combustion due to air friction. Let me quote it, straight from his mouth, yeah, that hole with teeth a couple of inches below that golden faux-mane he carries on top of his head.
"Well, I really understood what I was getting into — I didn't know that I'd be virtually the sole focus," Trump said. "I guess when you're leading in the polls that sort of thing tends to happen. But I was certainly in a certain way having a good time listening. I don't think the American people are having a good time with $5 gas. ... I was thinking to myself as they were doing this, you know, the American people are really suffering and we're all" having fun at a gala. "
You sir, are a true social warrior. I bet you do worry about $5 gas while you have fun in your life. And I'll bet all the money I have, yes, all 62 dollars and 42 cents, that lobster is just not as tasty when unemployment hovers around 9%, so worry not Mr. Trump. Nevermind that all that laughter (of which you were the source), you just keep fighting the good fight. Or at least keep fighting until your poll numbers drop like they are hot. And even though he could have faced it stoically and save face with a "Hey, I tried but no dice...", he had to come out and give everyone even more ammo to keep making fun of him. Again, I quote what lies beneath the wavy sea of gold hair:
"After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the Presidency. This decision does not come easily or without regret; especially when my potential candidacy continues to be validated by ranking at the top of the Republican contenders in polls across the country. I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election. I have spent the past several months unofficially campaigning and recognize that running for public office cannot be done half heartedly. Ultimately, however, business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector."
In case the stench of desperation to avoid facing his failure is too subtle for you, then let me give you another analogy: this is like getting your ass kicked after trying to pick a fight, and then claiming that you wanted to make the other guy feel good about himself. by letting him win. I call bullshit and like toothpaste at the grocery store, I just don't buy it. Gentlecavemen, his excuse on why he won't run is actually longer, but that was pretty much the gist of it. And truth be told although I guess I'm glad that by him calling it quits, because it makes the whole running for president more valid and real, I am kinda bummed that he won't be around anymore. Who will supply me with source material to keep writing and posting? Sarah Palin has been too quiet, so who I say?...
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/05/newt_gringich_lays_out_his_pla.html
When a door closes, a window opens...
I usually (that's right... 3 posts and I already wield the word usually) write about the happenings of US politics (2012 Republican candidates I'm looking at you...) and today won't be the difference. In actuality, this is the 3rd time I've tried to write this piece (or peace? or peas?) but the gods conspired to keep me from hitting the "publish post" button. So if you have been hyperventilating and panting while wondering why the caveman has not spoken for such a long period of time, well then, pant no more! The caveman, once again strikes again, whirling his mace of wit and sarcasm.
So Donald Trump, the beacon of hope for toupee wearers, heard the fat lady sing and after gracefully bowing out, he now has been relegated to the elephant graveyard of republican presidential runner-ups... the private sector. The Donald, who claimed that he was the bullseye for every joke made by Obama and Seth Meyers at the Correspondents Dinner due to his high poll numbers, realized that either the polls came from the same office that told Bush that there were WMD's in Irak or that his numbers came down so fast that he should've erupted in immediate combustion due to air friction. Let me quote it, straight from his mouth, yeah, that hole with teeth a couple of inches below that golden faux-mane he carries on top of his head.
"Well, I really understood what I was getting into — I didn't know that I'd be virtually the sole focus," Trump said. "I guess when you're leading in the polls that sort of thing tends to happen. But I was certainly in a certain way having a good time listening. I don't think the American people are having a good time with $5 gas. ... I was thinking to myself as they were doing this, you know, the American people are really suffering and we're all" having fun at a gala. "
You sir, are a true social warrior. I bet you do worry about $5 gas while you have fun in your life. And I'll bet all the money I have, yes, all 62 dollars and 42 cents, that lobster is just not as tasty when unemployment hovers around 9%, so worry not Mr. Trump. Nevermind that all that laughter (of which you were the source), you just keep fighting the good fight. Or at least keep fighting until your poll numbers drop like they are hot. And even though he could have faced it stoically and save face with a "Hey, I tried but no dice...", he had to come out and give everyone even more ammo to keep making fun of him. Again, I quote what lies beneath the wavy sea of gold hair:
"After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the Presidency. This decision does not come easily or without regret; especially when my potential candidacy continues to be validated by ranking at the top of the Republican contenders in polls across the country. I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election. I have spent the past several months unofficially campaigning and recognize that running for public office cannot be done half heartedly. Ultimately, however, business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector."
In case the stench of desperation to avoid facing his failure is too subtle for you, then let me give you another analogy: this is like getting your ass kicked after trying to pick a fight, and then claiming that you wanted to make the other guy feel good about himself. by letting him win. I call bullshit and like toothpaste at the grocery store, I just don't buy it. Gentlecavemen, his excuse on why he won't run is actually longer, but that was pretty much the gist of it. And truth be told although I guess I'm glad that by him calling it quits, because it makes the whole running for president more valid and real, I am kinda bummed that he won't be around anymore. Who will supply me with source material to keep writing and posting? Sarah Palin has been too quiet, so who I say?...
http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2011/05/newt_gringich_lays_out_his_pla.html
When a door closes, a window opens...
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